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   8 THE SECRET DIARY OF ADRIAN MOLE "
   1 TUESDAY APRIL 20TH"
   1 THE BEST BITS"
   1 G.P. MOLE ,1
   1 "YOURS FAITHFULLY,"
   1 "YOUR REQUEST TO LOOK AT MY LEFT"
   1 "YOUR MOTHER'S THREE MONTHS"
   1 "YOU WOULD RUN FROM ME LIKE A "
   1 "YOU HAVE BECOME MORBIDLY FIXATED"
   1 "YET HE SAT DOWN TO A STANDING"
   1 "WOULD LIKE A BROTHER OR SISTER."
   1 "WORKING FOR MANPOWER SERVICES"
   1 "WITH MY BODY."
   1 "WILL DO ANYTHING TO AVOID "
   1 "WILL BE LIVING IN THIS HOUSE."
   1 "WHY OH WHY DID I ASK PANDORA TO"
   1 "WHY DO THEY KEEP DRIVELLING ON"
   1 "WHILE I WAS LISTENING TO THE"
   1 "WHEN WE MET AT SCHOOL SHE LOOKS"
   1 "WHEN I PROTESTED SHE SCREMED"
   1 "WHAT CAN I SAY?I WAS CRUDE AND"
   1 "WENT HOME."
   1 "WENESDAY MAY 12TH"
   1 "WENESDAY APRIL 21ST"
   1 "WEDNESDAY MAY 26TH"
   1 "WEDNESDAY MAY 19TH"
   1 "WEDNESDAY JUNE 30TH"
   1 "WE WERE UNITED IN OUR "
   1 "WE WERE ALL EATING SPAGHETTI ON"
   1 "WE HAD A DEAD GOOD DEBATE IN"
   1 "VARICOSE VEINS"
   1 "USE OF FORCE TO REGAIN THE"
   1 "TWO LONG."
   1 "TUESDAY MAY 4TH"
   1 "TRINITY SUNDAY.FULL MOON"
   1 "TRAMP! HA! HA! HA!"
   1 "TRAMP! FANCY CALLING A PERFUME"
   1 "TOAST WHEN MY FATHER SAID "
   1 "TO THE WAR OFFICE.HE WANTS TO"
   1 "TO FIND OUT HOW MUCH GRAPES COST"
   1 "TIGHT TEE-SHIRTS."
   1 "THURSDAY JUNE 17TH"
   1 "THURSDAY APRIL 22ND"
   1 "THROUGH ME AS IF I WERE THE"
   1 "THIS MORNING BECAUSE HE DIDN,T"
   1 "THIS IS WHAT COMES OF LIVING IN"
   1 "THING COMES OFF THE END OF THE"
   1 "THEY ARE TERRIBLE PARENTS."
   1 "THEY ARE ONLY ABOUT TWENTY-ONE"
   1 "THERE,S NO WAY I,M GETTING UP IN"
   1 "THERE WAS A PROGRAM ON BBC 2"
   1 "THE SWELLING WOULD GO DOWN IN A"
   1 "THE STANDARD OF DEBATE WAS"
   1 "THE SHIP THAT WENT DOWN WAS THE"
   1 "THE PHONE DOWN."
   1 "THE NIGHT TO GIVE IT ITS BOTTLE."
   1 "THE GRAPES OF WRATH."
   1 "THE ENVELOPE AND I WILL DELIVER"
   1 "THE CANBERRA HAS GONE TO THE "
   1 "THE BABY,ADRIAN?'I LIED AND SAID"
   1 "THAT YOU SEE ON'WANTED'POSTERS."
   1 "THAT THE BRITISH PEOPLE WILL"
   1 "THAT SPAIN WANTS GIBRALTAR BACK"
   1 "THAT IT MIGHT BURST AND TAKE"
   1 "THAT I AM FRANTIC WITH WORRY"
   1 "THAT 'THIS CLASS IS AGAINT THE"
   1 "TEENAGERS?'"
   1 "TEACH YOU NOT TO SNIFF GLUE"
   1 "TAKE PART IN THE WAR WITH"
   1 "SUNDAY MAY 9TH"
   1 "SUNDAY JUNE 6TH"
   1 "SUNDAY APRIL 4TH"
   1 "SULK IN YOUR ROOM LIKE OFTHER"
   1 "SUFFERED TORMENT."
   1 "STARTLED FAUN."
   1 "STARTED CALLING ME 'GAPPY MOLE'"
   1 "SOCIAL STUDIES THIS MORNING."
   1 "SMASHING THE PLACE UP AROUND ME?"
   1 "SINCE LAST NIGHT WHEN A MODEL"
   1 "SHOW ME HER NIPPLE?"
   1 "SHOW EVERYTHING FOR 50P AND A"
   1 "SHE,S BEEN LIKE IT SINCE SHE"
   1 "SHE WOULD GO STAIGHT OFF ME"
   1 "SHE WANTS TO SELL THE HOUSE THAT"
   1 "SHE SHOWED ME THE LETTER."
   1 "SHE SENT A NOTE BACK SAYING,"
   1 "SHE SAID,'ARE YOU PLEASED ABOUT"
   1 "SHE SAID THAT WE WILL NEED MORE"
   1 "SHE SAID THAT I WAS 'PROBABLY"
   1 "SHE READ IT ANGRILY THEN SAID,"
   1 "SHE IS THREE MONTHS PREGNANT "
   1 "SHE IS JUST SITTING AROUND THE"
   1 "SHE ADDED,'PERHAPS IT WILL "
   1 "SHARE MY ROOM WITH IT."
   1 "SEX MANIA."
   1 "SEE THE FALKLANDS ISLANDS"
   1 "SECRETS."
   1 "SCHOOL WAS TERRIBLE;BARRY KENT"
   1 "SCHOOL THIS MORNING SO I STAYED"
   1 "SATURDAY MAY 22ND"
   1 "RULER,YET HE IS ONLY A WEEK "
   1 "ROOM 'FOR THE BABY'."
   1 "RELATIONSHIP."
   1 "READY FOR IMMEDIATE "
   1 "QUITE GOOD FOR A CHANGE."
   1 "QUALIFIED HEATING ENGINEER STOP"
   1 "PROPOSITION."
   1 "PROFESSIONAL PSYCHIATRIC HELP"
   1 "PREGNANT.'"
   1 "POUND OF GRAPES."
   1 "POSITIVE'."
   1 "PLEASE,AT LEAST GRANT ME AN"
   1 "PERSONAL ANGUISH AT THIS TIME"
   1 "PERIOD AND I,ADRIAN MOLE,PREDICT"
   1 "PERHAPS SHE,S NOT WELL."
   1 "PER POUND."
   1 "PANDORA PUT THE PROPOSITION"
   1 "PANDORA HAS BEEN ROUND BUT I "
   1 "PANDORA DARLING,"
   1 "PANDORA BRAITHWAITE"
   1 "PAIN DURING LABOUR"
   1 "P.S.IF I WERE YOU I WOULD SEEK"
   1 "OVATION!"
   1 "OUR WORLD MAP,BUT I COULDN,T "
   1 "OUR LOVE WAS ONCE A SPIRITUAL"
   1 "ONE OF GRANDMA'S YUCKY ROMANTIC"
   1 "OLDER THAN ME."
   1 "OLDER BROTHER,CLIVE,WITH IT."
   1 "OFFERS HIMSELF IN THE SERVICE"
   1 "OF NATIONAL CRISIS,BUT EVER "
   1 "OF HIS COUNTRY STOP"
   1 "OF HER NIPPLES BUT SHE REFUSED."
   1 "OF ARGENTINA'."
   1 "O,CLOCK IN THE MORNING STUFF"
   1 "NURSE WHO  REMOVED THE PLANE"
   1 "NOSE-STUCK-TO-MODEL-AEROPLANE"
   1 "NO WORD FROM PANDORA."
   1 "NIPPLE LAST NIGHT FINALLY"
   1 "NIGEL SAYS SHARON BOTTS WILL"
   1 "NEUROTIC."
   1 "NEED TO BE ASHAMED."
   1 "MY THING IS 14CM EXTENDED AND "
   1 "MY PARENTS DIDNT PREPARE ME OR"
   1 "MY NOSE WITH GLUE,I HAVE"
   1 "MY NOSE HAS SWOLLEN UP SO MUCH"
   1 "MY MOTHER WANTS TO MOVE."
   1 "MY MOTHER SAYS THAT MY FATHER"
   1 "MY MOTHER SAID,'GEORGE IT,S"
   1 "MY MOTHER IS PREGNANT!"
   1 "MY MOTHER IS FED UP."
   1 "MY MOTHER IS DEAD MAD WITH THE"
   1 "MY MOTHER HAS STOPPED WEARING A"
   1 "MY MOTHER FOUND THEM UNDER A"
   1 "MY MOTHER
   1 "MY FATHER SAID,'CHRIST,I CAN,T"
   1 "MY FATHER IS AS BAFFLED AS I "
   1 "MY FATHER HAS SENT A TELEGRAM"
   1 "MY FATHER HAS JUST ASKED ME IF I"
   1 "MY EXCUSE NOTES IN FUTURE;HE IS"
   1 "MY BRAIN WITH IT."
   1 "MS PAULINE MOLE"
   1 "MOTHERS DAY(USA AND CANADA"
   1 "MOTHER'S 'TRAMP' PERFUME ONTO"
   1 "MOTHER QUICKLY SWITCHED OVER TO"
   1 "MOST PARENTS.'"
   1 "MORE FAMILY ALLOWANCE"
   1 "MONTHS OF LOOKING LIKE THE SIDE"
   1 "MONDAY MAY 10TH"
   1 "MONDAY APRIL 26TH"
   1 "MONDAY APRIL 19TH"
   1 "MOBILIZATION."
   1 "MINDED BEING AN ONLY CHILD."
   1 "MIGHT BE A GIRL."
   1 "MAP UP TO DATE."
   1 "MANIAC IN PSYCHO WAS IN ANALYSIS"
   1 "MALICIOUS RUMOURS THAT I AM"
   1 "MAKING UNREASONABLE SEXUAL"
   1 "LOSS OF INDEPENDENCE"
   1 "LOOK AT ME,I'M A COMPLETE "
   1 "LIVING THROUGH A HITORICAL"
   1 "LITERATURE,BUT ADRIAN YOU HAVE"
   1 "LIFE EXPERIENCE,BUT SHE BUTTONED"
   1 "LIES ONE HAS COME TO EXPECT FROM"
   1 "LETTER DEMANDING THAT HE MAKES"
   1 "ITV AND WATCHED BERNIE WINTERS!"
   1 "IT,S NOT DIGNIFIED IN SOMEBODY"
   1 "IT WAS ABOUT THE FALKLANDS."
   1 "IT SOUNDS AS IF MY MOTHER IS "
   1 "IT SAID:"
   1 "IT MAKES A CHANGE FROM THE USUAL"
   1 "IT IS VERY SAD."
   1 "IT HAS JUST BEEN ON THE NEWS"
   1 "IT BY HAND AFTER DARK TONIGHT."
   1 "INVISIBLE MAN."
   1 "INTO SWIMMING POOLS;IT WAS MOST"
   1 "INTERESTING(AND EROTIC)BUT MY"
   1 "INCIDENT."
   1 "INCHES LONG."
   1 "IN THE INTERESTS OF WIDENING MY"
   1 "IN PERSON."
   1 "IN BED UNTIL 12.45 P.M."
   1 "IF SHE SAW MY REPULSIVE NOSE"
   1 "I WISH SHE WOULDN,T WEAR SUCH"
   1 "I WILL GET MY FATHER TO WRITE"
   1 "I TRIED TO EXPLAIN THAT IT WAS"
   1 "I TRIED TO EXPLAIN BUT SHE PUT"
   1 "I THINK IT IS DISGUSTING THAT"
   1 "I THINK IT HITS THE RIGHT NOTE."
   1 "I SENT HER A NOTE IN PHYSICS"
   1 "I SAID ON THE CONTRARY,"
   1 "I SAID NEITHER."
   1 "I RECEIVED THE FOLLOWING LETTER"
   1 "I RANG THE CASUALTY DEPARTMENT"
   1 "I QUOTED FROM ANIMAL FARM AND"
   1 "I PREFERRED IT."
   1 "I MADE A BRILLIANT SPEECH IN"
   1 "I LOOK LIKE A MASS MURDERER."
   1 "I HOPE THEY DON,T EXPECT ME TO "
   1 "I HOPE THEY AREN,THINKING ABOUT"
   1 "I HAVE WRITTEN PANDORA A SHORT"
   1 "I HAVE SPRAYED A BIT OF MY "
   1 "I HAVE NOW GOT THE KIND OF FACE"
   1 "I HAVE LIVED IN ALL MY LIFE."
   1 "I HAVE JUST REALIZED THAT I"
   1 "I HAVE JUST FOUND A LIST AT THE"
   1 "I HAVE ASKED NIGEL WHERE I CAN"
   1 "I GOT THE'STARTLED FAUN'BIT FROM"
   1 "I GOT QUITE A GOOD ROUND OF"
   1 "I GAVE IT TO MS FOSSINGTON GORE"
   1 "I FEEL GUILTY MENTIONTING A"
   1 "I COULDN,T FACE TAKING MY GAP TO"
   1 "I ASKED PANDORA TO SHOW ME ONE"
   1 "I ASKED MY MOTHER FOR AN EXCUSE"
   1 "I AM WRITING TO TERMINATE OUR"
   1 "I AM VERY AWARE THAT I AM"
   1 "I AM GLAD THAT MY DAD GOT TURNED"
   1 "I ALSO WENT TO THE GREENGROCERS"
   1 "HOW STUPID CAN YOU GET?"
   1 "HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME?"
   1 "HOW CAN I STUDY WITH A TODDLER"
   1 "HOUSE SMOKING AND SIGHING."
   1 "HOSPITAL AND HEARD ABOUT THE"
   1 "HIS AUNTIE IS A CLEANER IN THE"
   1 "HER CARDIGAN UP TO THE NECK AND"
   1 "HER BUST LOOKS LIKE TWO POACHED"
   1 "HER AGE(37)"
   1 "HE WAS QUOTING FROM HIS FATHER,"
   1 "HE SAID 'ER,I,ER,FINK WE SHOULD"
   1 "HAVE NEVER SEEN A DEAD BODY OR"
   1 "GOODNIGHT."
   1 "GOOD FRIDAY"
   1 "GO THROUGH ALL THAT THREE "
   1 "GET OUT OF BED UNTIL 12.45."
   1 "GEORGE DOESN,T WANT IT"
   1 "FROM PANDORA THIS MORNING:"
   1 "FRIDAY MAY 21ST"
   1 "FRIDAY MAY 14TH"
   1 "FRIDAY JUNE 25TH"
   1 "FRIDAY APRIL 9TH"
   1 "FORCE THE GOVERMENT TO RESIGN."
   1 "FOR YOUR HYPOCHONDRIA AND YOUR"
   1 "FOR TEN YEARS,SO THERE IS NO "
   1 "FIND SHARON BOTTS."
   1 "FEW DAYS."
   1 "FAVOUR OF THE MOTION."
   1 "FALKLANDS ISLANDS."
   1 "FALKLANDS AND TAKEN BARRY KENTS"
   1 "EVEN PANDORA WAS A BIT DISTANT."
   1 "ER,YOU KNOW,LIKE,BOMB THE COAST"
   1 "EGGS THAT HAVE BEEN COOKED FOR"
   1 "DURING AFTERNOON REGISTRATION."
   1 "DOWN BY THE WAR OFFICE."
   1 "DONKEY DAWKINS OF 5P SAYS HIS"
   1 "DOG MIGHT NOT TAKE TO IT"
   1 "DO NOT CONTACT ME,"
   1 "DEPRESSED."
   1 "DENTISTS AT 2.30,WORST LUCK!"
   1 "DENTIST;SHE HAS WRITTEN HIM A"
   1 "DEMANDS ON MY FATHER."
   1 "DECLINED TO SEE HER."
   1 "DEAR MS FOSSINGTON GORE,"
   1 "CRUMB OF FRUITCAKE."
   1 "COVENTRY."
   1 "CONVINCED ME THAT WE MUST PART."
   1 "CONGRATULATIONS!WHAT ABOUT MY"
   1 "CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER,"
   1 "CLUMSY AND SHOULD HAVE KNOWN"
   1 "CLEANERS ARE ALLOWED TO TALK"
   1 "CHANGED."
   1 "CASUALLY,'OH BY THE WAY ADRIAN,"
   1 "CAME ON THE LINE."
   1 "CAME BACK FROM THE 'WELL WOMAN'"
   1 "BRITAIN HAS GIBRALTAR.'"
   1 "BRINGING MY FALKLANDS CAMPAIGN"
   1 "BOTTOM OF MY MOTHER'S SHOPPING"
   1 "BARRY KENT SPOKE AGAINT THE "
   1 "BARRY KENT HAS BEEN SPREADING"
   1 "BABIES HARDLY TAKE ANY SPACE "
   1 "AUDIENCE AND LET ME APOLOGIZE"
   1 "AT TEA TIME I WAS LOOKING AT "
   1 "ASKING HER IF SHE STILL LOVED"
   1 "AS A CANAL BANK RENOVATOR."
   1 "ARGENTINA.HIS TELEGRAM READ:"
   1 "ARCHERS MY MOTHER ASKED ME IF I"
   1 "APPRECIATION OF ART AND"
   1 "APPLAUSE WHEN I SAT DOWN."
   1 "ANYWHERE."
   1 "ANYTHING."
   1 "ANYBODY'S NIPPLE WOULD HAVE "
   1 "ANTHONY PERKINS,WHO PLAYED THE"
   1 "AND,AFTER A LOT OF LAUGHING,THE"
   1 "AND SOON EVERYONE WAS AT IT;"
   1 "AM I TOO OLD AT 37?"
   1 "AM AS TO WHY MY MOTHER IS"
   1 "ALREADY,SO IN NOVEMBER A BABY"
   1 "ALLERGIC TO THE GLUE',AND THAT"
   1 "AGAIN,NOT AT MY AGE'."
   1 "AEROPLANE BECAME STUCK FAST TO"
   1 "ADRIAN DID NOT COME TO SCHOOL"
   1 "ADRIAN BOUND TO BE  JEALOUS"
   1 "ADOPTING ONE."
   1 "ADDICTED TO BOSTIK."
   1 "ABOUT PATIENTS PRIVITE MEDICAL"
   1 "ABOUT KIDS?"
   1 "ABOUT FRENCH BABIES BEING BORN"
   1 "ABOUT 3CM IN ITS UNWOKEN STATE."
   1 "A1 FITNESS STOP"
   1 "A REAL FEMALE NIPPLE."
   1 "A MYSTERIOUS CONVERSATION!"
   1 "A FALSE TOOTH FREE OF CHARGE."
   1 "A CUL-DE-SAC."
   1 "A BORN LIAR."
   1 "5.00 PM,I,M NOW MISSING A TOOTH"
   1 "4TH AFTER EASTER."
   1 "10 P.M. KISSED MY POOR MOTHER"
   1 "'WHY DON,T YOU CLEAR OFF AND"
   1 "'I WILL LOVE YOU AS LONG AS"
   1 "'AT LEAST YOUR MOTHER IS HONEST."
   1 "'A' LEVELS IN TWO YEARS,TIME?"
   1 " I WILL BE THE LAUGHING STOCK AT"
   1 " FOR IT  "
   1 " AGAINST IT"
   1 "   OF A HOUSE"